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February 4th is around the corner...

Harry

Charter A&M Corner Member
Staff member
Moderator
Click below if you really want my feelings on the matter. Otherwise, just ignore this post.

I don't wish to dissuade anyone from whatever is planned, but I have this...call it a "mental block" as to why fans would want to make anything special of the anniversary date that someone passed away. A similar phenomenon happens with John Lennon and the anniversaries of the day he was shot. If I'm not mistaken, even Yoko regrets that John's fans observe that day.

To those of you who have lost love ones, do you celebrate the day that they passed? I don't even remember the exact dates - I think I'd rather forget.

Ever the optimist and looking on the bright side of things, I prefer to think about Karen on her birthday rather than the tragic day in February. But that's just me.
 

Mark-T

Well-Known Member
Thread Starter
Good point. For us, we celebrate birthdays and commemorate days of loss.
From a different angle, Feb. 4 is the day the public remembers Karen, so it is a good day to try and win a new fan or two.
(How did you make that text disappear, Harry?)
 

Martin Medrano

Active Member
Like mentioned above I'd rather remember her birthday and her for the good person she was. To put it simply a simple average girl with a hauntingly beautiful voice to remember forever.
 

Harry

Charter A&M Corner Member
Staff member
Moderator
Next to the smiley icon, there's three dots and a dropdown arrow. In there you'll find "inline spoiler". The other plain spoiler gives a button to click on. The inline spoiler grays out the selected text.
 

newvillefan

I Know My First Name Is Stephen
I don't "celebrate" the days when my closest loved ones passed away, but we always do something positive or uplifting on those days, as a way of remembering them, because they are dates that our lives changed irrevocably. So no, I'm never likely to forget them. I can only guess that fans who feel "close" to a famous person like Karen do it for the same reason, but for me it's not the same as losing a family member, no way. I do always think of Karen though on this anniversary, but I don't go out of my way to actually "do" anything.
 

Harry

Charter A&M Corner Member
Staff member
Moderator
Oh believe me, I do understand why it's done. It's hard, when reminded, not to think of the moment that you heard the news. I know exactly where I was standing and what I did for the next hour or so. And yet I couldn't tell you anything about what I did on Monday. It's one of those frozen moments in time.

But until Mark opened this thread, I had not considered it at all. It wasn't on my radar. Now the thread's here, people are talking, so on the day, I'll be thinking about where I was on that day in 1983. Still, I'd rather forget and celebrate the life and great music of the Carpenters - whenever the spirit moves me.
 

Geographer

Well-Known Member
I absolutely do not think anyone "celebrates" that day. They (we?) DO, however, "commemorate" that day. For instance, on the anniversary of my father's death, it is customary that I take my elderly mother to the cemetery for a grave-site visit and share "memories" of my father. I know for a fact that, in the distant past, Richard and his parents would go visit the cemetery and Karen's not-to-be-final resting place (Forest Lawn in Cypress at the time) and have a quiet family dinner somewhere. The day of someone's death is, as morbid as it seems, a milestone in their life. To ignore it completely is almost as strange as treating it as a celebration.
 

CarpentersToYou

Somehow you brought the gambler out in me...
It seems that many, many fans are attracted by the tragedy that was the end of Karen's life. I, too, don't understand why people are so attracted by that part of the Carpenters as the Carpenters to me are a source of happiness. I really wonder how many people turn on their music just to focus on the sadness. If that's the case, that is just sad. I am afraid we're always going to be an easy target for some of the more mentally disturbed tragedy-obsessed people. It's a shame because the Carpenters are the bees knees when it comes to catchy, beautiful music.
 

Carpe diem

Well-Known Member
I think fans for the most part, recognize that day and have a moment of "quiet reflection". A much more positive day, however, is coming up on March 2nd. The 70th anniversary of the birth of our beloved Karen. That's cause for celebration!
 

Chris May

Resident 'Carpenterologist'
Staff member
Moderator
It seems that many, many fans are attracted by the tragedy that was the end of Karen's life. I, too, don't understand why people are so attracted by that part of the Carpenters as the Carpenters to me are a source of happiness. I really wonder how many people turn on their music just to focus on the sadness. If that's the case, that is just sad. I am afraid we're always going to be an easy target for some of the more mentally disturbed tragedy-obsessed people. It's a shame because the Carpenters are the bees knees when it comes to catchy, beautiful music.
If I could chime in here for a minute. I honestly believe that as human beings, we individually at some level, at some point in our lives or throughout our entire lives wrestle with our own mortality.

When a talent such as Karen's comes along and then passes away, especially tragically and unexpectedly, along with all of the added emotion that media hype adds to one's demise, you experience a natural tendency to attach the strength of the two forces. The attraction to the artist then often times takes on an entirely new dynamic. Even if to the slightest degree, I think we all can say with total honesty that it has happened with a famous celebrity that has died at one time or another.

Unfortunately sometimes that attachment then gets perverted (not saying anyone has done that in this thread here necessarily), therefore sensationalized and glorified. Hey, I've been guilty of it myself so I'm not pointing fingers!

I don't share this often and it's something that won't be discussed further publicly in this forum, but I am friends with and worked alongside Karen's undertaker many years ago. I was already music directing professionally, but it was sporadic at that point in my life and I was also working for a mortuary, handling coroner work as well for about 4 years. So you can imagine at that age what a load of questions I had for him.

As my life became full-time music, and subsequently one that also involved Carpenters and a connection to Richard over the years - along with basic life maturity, I eventually got past the ambulance-chasing curiosity and focused on what it was really about.

Hope all that rambling made sense LOL :)
 

newvillefan

I Know My First Name Is Stephen
Oh believe me, I do understand why it's done. It's hard, when reminded, not to think of the moment that you heard the news. I know exactly where I was standing and what I did for the next hour or so. And yet I couldn't tell you anything about what I did on Monday. It's one of those frozen moments in time.
I hadn't thought to include this in my post earlier about family members but I’ll tell you one thing I do always do on this date - I think about Richard. This was his family member. I have often suspected that the words of dedication he wrote on the back of the Voice Of The Heart album don’t even begin to describe what he felt on this day. Karen has now been gone longer than she was here and he must look back sometimes and think “has it really been that many years?”
 

Mark-T

Well-Known Member
Thread Starter
Guess I should have kept my feelings and opinions to myself...
Not at all, Harry! One of the things I've appreciated about these boards is the ability to speak freely while being respectful and sharing opinions that may not always be popular. Thanks for keeping it this way!
 

Mark-T

Well-Known Member
Thread Starter
Gotta say, I'm "tweaking" my article (shades of Richard?) and I'm very excited about the end result. I hope you all enjoy it.
 

A&M Retro

Well-Known Member
It’s a very, very sad anniversary any way you slice it.

When someone brings you that much joy in your life and they’re suddenly gone, you’ll feel the loss forever.

And that’s just one reason why we’re talking about it 37 years later.
 
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Carpe diem

Well-Known Member
I'd love to hear what you're planning to commemorate Karen's life and legacy. As for me, I've decided to bypass completing my revised look at Now & Then (the next album in line), and instead, I've written a lengthy article on Karen as the superb vocalist she is. What are you doing?
Gotta say, I'm "tweaking" my article (shades of Richard?) and I'm very excited about the end result. I hope you all enjoy it.
Mark-T When are you going to post it - on Feb 4th?
 
Click below if you really want my feelings on the matter. Otherwise, just ignore this post.

I don't wish to dissuade anyone from whatever is planned, but I have this...call it a "mental block" as to why fans would want to make anything special of the anniversary date that someone passed away. A similar phenomenon happens with John Lennon and the anniversaries of the day he was shot. If I'm not mistaken, even Yoko regrets that John's fans observe that day.

To those of you who have lost love ones, do you celebrate the day that they passed? I don't even remember the exact dates - I think I'd rather forget.

Ever the optimist and looking on the bright side of things, I prefer to think about Karen on her birthday rather than the tragic day in February. But that's just me.
I highly agree. My mother died in 98. In less than one year my father passed. My sister and I struggled with those losses and just as things were getting back to a somewhat normal life, the Beautiful 100 year old colonial style home that we grew up in was destroyed by fire. We built a new home on the same lot and after she moved in and was still hanging new curtains and just getting settled in, we find out she has stage 4 colon cancer. She was my only sibling. We were very close and agreed to disagree so those little misunderstandings didn't matter. After I lost her, I went to the grave where they all three are on a regular basis but hardly go at all anymore because I realized that even if they are in heaven, there are no tears there or sadness so they can't be looking down smiling. From time to time, my friends and family say, it's been 10 years since she passed away right and I say, I can't see the need in keeping those dates on my calendar. I just try to move ahead and the pictures are sweet memories of the past. I am lucky they all died of things of nature and not a terrible shocking death. I am happy that my dad held my oldest daughter the last 6 months of his life everyday at lunch. My youngest daughter only knew my sister and they both miss her but it's not something we discuss a lot. Death to me is a painful memory so I try to smile when I think of them. I would guess that that subject is the reason Richard doesn't do many interviews or appearances because the fans seem to be all caught up in her end and not her legacy. I know I would tire of questions about my sisters passing everywhere I go. Blessings everyone and have a great new year!
 
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