One of the heartening things during this sad anniversary is that going through all the web/Facebook/Tumblr/Twitter tributes to Karen is that the top two things always mentioned by individuals is 1) Karen's incomparable voice and how the Carpenter's music touched their lives and 2) her pioneering place as a role model as one of the pre-eminent female drummers in history, and perhaps the best singing drummer of all time [which I think was something that usually was ignored in her lifetime especially when she moved away from the drums]. The elephant in the room, the cause of her death, was rarely mentioned except either in sadness or because of how many lives Karen may have saved by putting a face on an unknown disease. It's a far cry from when I was growing up in the 80s/90s and Karen Carpenter was just talked about for Christmas music and, mostly, for the reason behind her death.
Time really has a role to play. 33 years later, all those "image" questions that always hampered the recognition of the Carpenters from the media and critics are largely gone because new generations have no idea what that's about, and in a way, Karen's "image" has boomeranged in her favor. People, including those who were born after the Carpenters were huge (like myself) generally love KC (just as they did in 1974 as well, if you read the Rolling Stone article, so nothing has really changed). They love her for her voice, for her drumming, and for her fragility, that unique blend of melancholy and hope that you could always detect in her singing voice, even if you had no idea it mirrored her internal life.
Even in Karen's lifetime there seemed to be few people who actually knew her that didn't adore her in some fashion. Why? Because she was funny, and genuine and...normal. Just think of how many outfits she would continually re-use at TV/public appearances despite having millions of dollars, apparently just because she liked wearing them (like a regular person) - I can't think of a female popstar now (or even then?) who does that. I think that's what a lot of Carpenters fans then and now picked up on. Everytime I hear her talk in interviews (radio/tv or read biography or view documentaries) she just seems like literally the "girl next door" (though she would hate that term I know). Except this girl next door just happened to have one of the best voices in recorded music. She wanted to be remembered in one of the 1978 radio interviews as a musician who made good music and a "nice person", I think the fact that she was very much both, in a world of celebrities becoming famous for doing nothing and/or bad behavior, explains the staying power.
And of course I always remember Richard during this time. I'm happy he's had a happy family life. He has now lived more of his adult life without his little sister/musical partner/best friend/muse for longer than she was on Earth. Having siblings myself (and nowhere near as close as the Carpenters) I can't imagine the loss.