JOv2
Well-Known Member
E-Bay is a two-edged sword in the realm of used records. The selection is immense given the worldwide access to LPs and 45s; yet, far too many sellers are clearly not competent regarding the assignment of accurate visual grades to the records they sell — which has led to inflated grading during the past 20 years. As a result, when affordable, many of us seek out NOS (new old stock) or SS (still sealed) OOP LPs, which although other risks must now be considered (e.g., bad pressings, warpage, mold-damaged jackets) in most cases the sonic rewards remove all uncertainties associated with the purchasing of 60-year old used LPs of unknown history.
In response, some years ago I put this sarcastic bit together and sent it off to my LP collecting friends.
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Used LPs & 45s: A Guide for Understanding Visual Grading Criteria Utilized by Select E-Bay Sellers
In response, some years ago I put this sarcastic bit together and sent it off to my LP collecting friends.
_____
Used LPs & 45s: A Guide for Understanding Visual Grading Criteria Utilized by Select E-Bay Sellers
- No records are graded lower than VG.
- VG: My grandma has boxes of these things called records. They used them in the old days for music so let’s get some money for them on E-Bay.
- VG+: All records look about the same but these ones here don’t have as many of those other lines and stuff across the grooves like all the others so they’re better.
- NM: These are the 20 best looking records from that $5 estate sale box.
- M: This one is a collector’s item because it still has some of that plastic wrap on it.
- Beware of sellers who, based on the following actions, clearly don’t adhere to Goldmine visual grading standards:
- Sellers who grade ANY used LP as M.
- Sellers who make statements like: "condition is NM…except for _________"; or "condition is VG+ for a 55-year-old LP".
- Sellers who use hype or non-Goldmine terms (e.g., "amazing", "fantastic", "incredible") to describe LP condition.
- Sellers who avoid detailing LP condition by hyping the other aspects of the LP (e.g., "wonderful album", "great addition to your collection").
- Sellers who exclusively use the word "vinyl" and/or were born after 1970 and have recently jumped on the vinyl bandwagon.
- Sellers who clearly don’t understand the music they’re selling (e.g., classifying The Sandpipers as "R&B & Soul").
- Sellers who also hock items unrelated to LPs (e.g., Motel 6 ashtrays, buddha clocks, three rims from a ’68 Dodge Polara, and assorted sundries pilfered from Grandma’s attic, etc.).
- NM 45s only exist in fantasyland.
- The first time any new C&W or R&B LP is removed from its jacket and played, its grade instantly plunges from M to FAIR.
- LP condition is always inversely proportional to the attractiveness of the artist pictured on the jacket.
- LPs classified as Instrumental — Easy Listening graded as VG+ always have one long scratch that extends from the lead-in grooves to the dead wax (for many of these LPs — particularly 101 Strings and Montovani — this actually enhances the listening experience).
- Then there's the fun stuff…like the E-Bay seller who listed Bob Dylan/Another Side of Bob Dylan (’64) as "a rare 2-eye issue" — notwithstanding that all Columbia LPs from 1963–1969 were "2-eye".