Jeff
Well-Known Member
I haven't brought myself to it yet. Still nervous. Here after work the last thing I wanna do is go to bed revisiting the vivid horror. But, I will partake. I just know that things like this drive home the finality, tragedy, re-kindle the deep-seated grief which rears its ugly head as it is. Now that alcohol isn't a solution (self destruction) its either a modest attempt at denial or feeeeeeeeling. ICK! In a way tho I want to share this with Karen. I want to continue to understand her complexities for whatever reason. Maybe closure. That will never be. Sounds kinda unfeeling but as much as I loved and adored my Father...I skated thru his untimely death by comparison. I'll watch it when I'm better prepared for a major depressive event. It's not like I'm clueless about the disorder and its subsequent mortality rate. It's almost like if I watched it right after posting here it'd be some weird ass rude awakening and I'd be all...Oh my god I don't believe she's dead. For the time being I've gotta find my happy place and quick. Rainy days and autopsies always......
Jeff
Jeff